The following is a transcript of the presentation speech prepared by Speaks with Fish! as he handed over the Broken Arrow Sportsmanship Award. As is the custom of the tribe, it arrives in the form of a poem…
So begins the year of the Elk…
No longer a bride,
And finally — Chief of our Tribe!
The mission from Fook HQ was clear,
Don your tuxedo and bring lots of beer,
Cause Fook’ 007 will be a reason to cheer!
Who better to remind us we are men?
Bond. James Bond.
Hrm… or maybe that blonde across the pond!
Twelve of us came —
Wait, make that eleven —
No, instead it’s ten —
Now it’s eleven again… and then ten —
Cause Turtle Thunder is yaking in the Fook’n trash bin!
So who should receive this gift of dread?
It’ll be mine no more — that’s a relief!
Maybe, Turk… he doesn’t care about the money and just wants to be Chief.
No. Instead it’ll be someone who’s had lots of success.
Like someone who has no room left for embroidery on his collar.
From the high handicappers, can I get a hoop and a hollar!
To you Bullseye*, I bestow the sportsmanship award.
Now it’s not mine, thank you Lord!
Hear me very well, for it’s now a curse…
Kinda like a big fat “L”,
Or a secret-agent man-purse.
So as the sun sets on another Fookarwie,
And we enjoy these chops straight from the barbie,
To each I raise my glass…
Cause Fook’ 007 has been a blast!